The invisibility switch

A post-wall woman laments the absence of previously unwanted male attentio n in her life: Like so many girls of my generation, I took myself...

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A post-wall woman laments the absence of previously unwanted male attention in her life:

Like so many girls of my generation, I took myself far too seriously and was quick to mistake kindness or generosity for sexism. I would never let a man pay for dinner (or I would never admit to it, at any rate) and I wore ugly shoes I could walk in, rather than have to accept a lift home in high heels. As for winking, thigh-patting and the occasional wolf-whistle — woe betide the man who dared.

Now, aged 50, I realise how silly I was to get so wound up about such things. If I had my time again, I would accept those gestures for what they are: crude but flattering demonstrations of male admiration. And I would appreciate them all the more as I know how much I miss them now they’re gone.

Nowadays, I’d be positively overjoyed by the attention. To today’s right-on students, these must sound like the demented ramblings of a Fifties housewife. But until you’ve experienced the invisibility switch for yourself, you really have no idea what it feels like.

Trust me, there is only one thing worse than attracting unwanted attention, and that’s attracting no attention at all. Even the most impeccably turned-out women find that, after a certain age, you practically have to send up a flare to get served at a busy bar.

PJ O'Rourke nailed it when he described "the lonely Hell of the formerly cute". Female beauty is ephemeral, which is why it must be appreciated while it lasts.